I know you have all been there. You go out with friends, you drink, and you have a good time. And then suddenly, without warning, you get this urge to whip out your phone and text someone. It could be for various reasons - you heard a song that reminded you of a friend who isn’t with you, you met someone from the same town as your roommate’s sister’s boyfriend, or you really miss that one night stand from three months ago. Whatever the reason, you sloppily say something…with words that have so many unnecessary letters even autocorrect cannot decipher it all. And when you wake up in the morning (or mid-to-late afternoon, if you’re anything like me) you regret every last word you said. And even though that should be more than enough reason to never do it again, you do it…every. single. time.

So, since the experience itself has not been sufficient reason to stop, here are five more reasons which will hopefully do the trick.

1. Nobody Likes a Sloppy Drunk

Face the facts - when you get to the point of drunkenness that you are texting random people, you’re either already sloppy or very close to it. Being sloppy is NOT under any circumstances attractive. Not on Lindsay Lohan, not on Britney Spears, not even on Michelle Obama. So it is certainly not attractive on you. Don’t embarrass yourself by showing everyone how sloppy you really are…and while you’re at it, don’t get that sloppy to begin with.

2. No Translator Can Help You

You could have the most intelligent thought in the entire world; but when you’re drunk it will automatically turn out to be something like “lkfsd;jgndfclnsnfd…Ikkkmfm dddrrruuuuuuunkkkkk!!!!” No matter how much you try when you look at your phone when you wake up the next day it will be practically impossible to translate. Trust me…I’ve tried. And if you can’t even translate, there is no way your friends will be able to. So save you and your friends the trouble and put the phone down.

3. It’s Late

Interesting tidbit that you might not always remember – when you’re out drinking, it’s LATE. Really late. While you have chosen to spend your night drinking at the bar, your friends are probably doing what you should be doing – SLEEPING. And if your friends are at all like mine, they value their sleep and are a little cranky when woken up in the middle of the night. Why bother ruining a wonderful friendship just to say “I miss yooouuu!!!” or quote some song lyrics you both love? Step away from the keyboard and you too can be even more popular at the end of the night than the beginning.

4. Nobody Cares

I’m sorry, but what you attempt to say in a text after you have been drinking is NOT THAT IMPORTANT. Think about it. Will your life be greatly improved by what you’re about to say? Will your words greatly improve the life of the person you’re about to text? Is it a matter of life and death? If you have answered no to any of these questions, then get as far away from the phone as possible. Singing a Jason DeRulo or Lady Gaga song in a text to your best friend is not worthwhile. Believe me, they will be grateful you didn’t text them. However, there is an exception to this rule. There are in fact situations in which breaking out your phone is most definitely necessary. If it is a matter of life and death, by all means text away (although you should probably be calling 911, not texting your uncle who was a cop 25 years ago).

5. It’s Ridiculously Unattractive

Picture this: you’re at a bar with so many hot people in the room you begin to wonder how you got in. You make eye contact and flirty faces with a super cutie across the room, who soon begins to saunter over in your direction. Suddenly, your favorite song comes on. You know your roommate loves this song so you grab your phone to text your shared favorite line. When finished, you look up and notice, much to your chagrin that the super cutie has disappeared. This fate could have been avoided if you had just kept your phone in your pocket. It’s hard enough to approach someone at a bar to begin with. Nobody wants to do itwhile the other person is too busy drunk texting to notice the world around them. You seem uninterested in the good times and truthfully, you look antisocial!  Do you really want to turn away your potential soul mate? I didn’t think so.

So there they are. Five wonderful reasons to never drink and text again. Are they a little extreme? Potentially. Are they 100% necessary? You betcha. Now go out there and have some fun. Just remember to leave your phone at home.

It’s a few days into the new year, and I don’t have any resolutions. AT ALL.  Is that bad? Sure, I could have lots of resolutions if I wanted to…but are they really worth it?

I have resolved year after year to do lots of things. Lose weight, curse less, lose weight, get better grades, oh and of course…lose weight. Does it ever happen? Ehh not really. Are we ever successful in our resolutions? I would LOVE to hear of success stories. But then again, they would probably make me want to throw myself off of a bridge, so no…I don’t want to hear them.

I would like to say one thing about resolutions though. I think they might be a waste of time. I mean really, what on earth is different about 2012? Or 2011? Or 2010? Each year is the same. We make these silly resolutions. We hope, with all our greatest hopes, that next year will be different. That it will be better. And true, it can be. But we can’t just put it up to fate. We can’t just say “Oh hey! I’m going to lose 20 lbs this year!” and let that be the end of it. Too often we make these resolutions and NEVER FOLLOW THROUGH.

So what makes this year different? What makes this year better? It’s just another year. Just like this New Years Day was just another Sunday. You know what I think will make this year better? NOT making a resolution. Yepp, that’s it. I’m resolving not to make resolutions.

And, even though I will not be making any resolutions, I still hope 2012 will be better.  I have had an amazing life thus far, and I want 2012 to be even better. I want to make every moment worthwhile. So no more tears, no more fights, and no more feeling sorry for myself. And maybe I’ll lose a little weight, curse less, and get bettter grades along the way.

…oh who am I kidding. Maybe I can resolve to be honest with myself?

Whether we want to believe it or not, our parents are people too.  The way we feel right now?  Yeah, they felt it. Twenty-some years ago. Without all the technology we have. Sucks, doesn’t it?

Over the past few years I have found the relationship with my parents has definitely changed.  To them I am no longer just their daughter. I’m an adult. And they respect me as an adult. And I’ve come to respect them more as well.  However, there is a fine line we are all faced with when it comes to our parents (well, hopefully all…truthfully, I just hope I’m not the only one — ‘cause that would BLOW!).  They have come to accept us for who we are, but can we accept them for who they are?

Our parents are people too. But what if we don’t like them as they are?  What do we do? How does a young woman - one who is trying to hold on to everything she once knew as it falls apart - how does she cope with the fact that her parents are nothing like she remembers? That her whole life, while she idolized them, their marriage, and everything they stood for, she was wasting her time.

And now she wonders if the sweet taste of freedom she is so close to feeling will always be tainted with the bitter taste of remorse as she looks in the rearview mirror at what used to be…

EMBRACE THE AWKWARD

Wow, what I wouldn’t give to go back in time and say it to myself. Life has a funny way of going about its business. We have ideas of what might happen. We have hopes and dreams we’d kill for. But at the end of the day, we have no clue what each day brings for us.

Case in point: last night…yeah. That was the roughest it’s been in quite some time. I had so many hopes and dreams of what would happen. And then they just…didn’t.  Have you ever had a moment when you wish you had a time machine and could just, somehow, change everything that happened? That’s how I feel about last night. Sadly though, nothing I could have done would have made the night better.  It was destined to be that way. And there is no one I can be upset with, no one to blame. Not even myself (although, admittedly, I have been quite hard on myself over the past 12 hours).

So now I sit here, attempting to study for my last exam - while obviously failing miserably - and watching Futurama with one of my roommates, her boyfriend, his friend from home, and his roommate. It’s been one hell of a day. Actually, it’s been one hell of a 36 hours. And once again, I have found myself saying “What is life??”

I’ve been sitting here for a while now, trying to find the right words and listening to the conversation among the three boys in my living room. And if I’ve learned one thing from all of this, its that we should all embrace the awkward.  Guys live through so many awkward moments and just laugh it all off. Why aren’t girls the same way?  I have no idea. But I will definitely be working toward thinking like they do.

Wish me luck!